Comments on: The Typical Asian Parents’ Mindset https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/ Student Blog | Counselor Blog Tue, 15 Dec 2020 21:24:32 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.4 By: Nelomie Galagedara https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-219559 Sun, 24 May 2020 21:43:04 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-219559 To be honest with you this does not represent entire Asia. In South Asia, doctors and engineers are considered as top class job. Lawyers could be a second choice.

]]> By: Dogos Ex Strumine https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-163849 Mon, 08 Oct 2018 03:42:48 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-163849 That’s funny because my parents are white but they think EXACTLY like this.

]]> By: jun https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-151514 Sat, 07 Oct 2017 22:15:32 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-151514 relatable af

]]> By: Amy https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-139089 Mon, 27 Feb 2017 07:32:27 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-139089 Most Asian parents in my city are in the third category and almost all the Asians
in my school do art or sports as extracurriculars.

]]> By: Koh LS https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-113888 Fri, 12 Feb 2016 09:41:40 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-113888 Dear writer,
I would have graded your essay an “A” if you had approached it from a more neutral angle, and leave it to the maturity of the readers to decide for themselves what is “good” or “bad. While you started off by saying “I will briefly explore ..”, you have gone on to influence, to be presenter and judge all at the same time. In your closing, you stated “Sadly, most Asian parents nowadays are still in the first and second categories”. By stating so, you have turned from exploring and presenting, to judging parents as “good” or “bad”, and you are not even a parent yet, then. By using the word “sadly”, you have judged that the second category parents are “regrettable”. If you decide to do so and use words like “manipulation”, you need to be really sure-footed and be irrefutable. I note your “personal experience” basis, so unfortunately your experiences could have contributed to your somewhat prejudiced views/arguments, which opinion I will try to explain later on (to be fair to you). While attempting to sound candid/funny, you ought to be careful about being accurate too. In writing this, you ought to first note that at the time of writing, you have yet to become a parent to truly know and experience what it is like to be a parent, to understand their concerns and cares from their point of view. At this point, you are mostly a spender of money, other people’s hard-earned money. That I think, is one of the problems of the present generations.
Hence my this response is to caution the many readers out there who seem to gloat & go goo-goo gah-gah over your article, as many seem to be not only encouraged but also influenced by your some of your writings (while decent overall) and judgements. If I am wrong, readers please ignore.
The first part of your essay in job classes was already a great generalization and being judgemental – your graphical illustration and expressions like “These are the two jobs that are highly appreciated due to the distinction results necessary to pursue them. Doctors and Lawyers are regarded as the top professions ….”. By writing so simplistically, you have immediately cast aside so many many other professions that actually require even higher distinctions and qualifications to get into. I know you mean that these are the mindsets of parents generally (not yours) – which is even more totally un-substantiated. What research or statistics have you quoted or made of your own to back up your generalization? As some readers have quickly pointed out, you have put some professions in the wrong class, even as you started out on your “exploration”. However, what really prompted my response is this below:
2nd.Type Parents:
I generally agree with you on the first “type of parents”…the kind who “force” their children mostly, and to take up certain professions. Being forced to do something you don’t have a passion or liking or even talent for, for possibly a lifetime does not make sense. No happiness for both parent and child.
But I think you crossed the line when you stated “…the second type parent will talk it out of the child by subtle manipulation” in combination with the word “sadly” mentioned earlier.
I do not see anything wrong with the second type parents that you described. The 2nd type is about responsible parenthood. Anything less is being irresponsible. I am an Asian parent of two grown up children and consider myself sufficiently qualified to comment. This is not a cloak and dagger, playing /manipulation game here. You gradually imply many things being wrong with second type parents. You said “Pushing instead of forcing to achieve high standards”. I see nothing wrong here, just responsible parenthood. Every student or athlete needs pushing to achieve higher standards. You said “If a child chooses 3rd class profession, parents will tell the child to think again”. Again, what is wrong about giving advice? On the contrary, it is irresponsible parenthood if one neglects this duty to advise and caution.
There are many factors to consider before judging that parents are “forcing” their children when they give “advice”. For example, if a parent can see that a child has no passion for treating/healing the sick, then they should not force the child into medicine no matter how many “As” the child has. If a child is not technically inclined or hates the sciences/maths, it makes no sense to force the child to take up engineering or architecture. On the other hand if the child shows extra-ordinary talent in creativity and music/the arts, then stopping the child from going further is denying him/her the chance to excel in what he/she can be. Point is, there is nothing wrong with “pushing a child to high standards” and telling (advising) a child to think again if the child chooses a 3rd class profession (for which he/she has little talent for, or which generally earns a low income). Get real, we are living in competitive times. Every normal and caring parent will be duty-bound to advise their young child. Have you considered the fact that wiser choices of studies are often made after consulting parents and career counselors, instead of just relying on “what I like to do”? Also, such matters often need discussions and careful decision as a huge fortune from the family’s savings could be spent, not to mention the years spent on a “wrong” course of study. Parents also do have a say, as it is after all, their life-long savings about to be spent quickly by a young naïve person, just about to get to know the real world. In fact, many graduates these days after completing a course of study that balanced their passion with market demand, move on freely to other careers of their choice and new-found interests. Their choices do not end with their first degree. With good parental guidance, their degree was just a solid foundation and stepping stone to better things. Happy parents, grateful children. Do not mix guidance with manipulation. Choice of studies need not always be a picture of rebellion or tussle with parents.
On the 3rd category parent, please quote me a parent (Asian or not) who will say “pick WHATEVER course …anything you like dear…any class dear, and I will support you 100%; here’s my life-long savings of $500,000/- at your disposal, no questions asked, no discussions needed”, and I will show you an irresponsible (bad, rather dumb) parent. Do bad or dumb parents exist?
Unfortunately, your essay has painted quite the opposite – the first and second parent categories as “sad” (bad), and the 3rd category parents implicitly, as “good/better”. Which is why I bother to comment.

]]> By: ASIN https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-113142 Mon, 28 Dec 2015 02:22:09 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-113142 so true

]]> By: XOXO https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-67651 Fri, 17 Oct 2014 15:08:58 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-67651 omg my parents are bad parents 😛 haha

]]> By: Wayne Absalom CK https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-10325 Sun, 30 Mar 2014 03:07:55 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-10325 In reply to Wayne Absalom CK.

Wait, I mean engineers should be in the first-class communnity. Typed wrongly sorry.

]]> By: Wayne Absalom CK https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-10324 Sun, 30 Mar 2014 03:06:07 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-10324 Oh, you forget something. ENGINEERS are also in the first-class community. So I’m considered a third-class, haha, and my parents want me to be there. I’m from Malaysia. But, I agree with you. This is real typical Asian mindset. =)

]]> By: iris https://www.mymajors.com/blog/the-typical-asian-parents-mindset/#comment-4393 Mon, 25 Mar 2013 06:12:11 +0000 http://mymajors.com/blog/?p=478#comment-4393 Interesting. I am around Asians a lot because of my meditation practice and I get a lot of criticism and have even been openly told that I am dumb. I find it very hard to be around these people. I have a degree in art and am pretty poor by American standards, and am happy that my children are into the arts, but my Asian acquaintances constantly make fun of me because I know little about computers, math ect… and seem to be unable to appreciate my skills as being of any worth at all. It must be hard for right brained, creative type people who are Asian. It almost seems like human worth is valued, merely by how much money people can make. It’s sad that a culture which once contained so much depth and wisdom and been reduced to this.

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